bloody rose

I'm a Hello Kitty obsessed lesbian? Hadn't noticed

bloody rose
Pull me this
Tug me that
Make me do a little dance
You are the puppet queen.
Pull the strings
Wherever you please
I'm just your little puppet
Don't mind me.
When will the show end?
When will my life begin?
Cut the strings
Set me free.
Will I ever get
your kiss of life?
Or forever be
The star of your show?

rainbow eye
So, I know I keep just like, falling off the face of the earth. And Im truly sorry about it, but I've been going through a lot of just complete and utter shit lately because people are selfish cunts. I don't really want to talk about things because, well Im just tired of talking about things. Im tired of crying and hurting. Im 19 years old and I drink way more than I should. And I started smoking because Ive been so stressed out about everything. And Im just getting really bad. My hours at work are fucking outragous and I think my insomnia is peaking back up again, which really sucks when you work the graveyard shift. Im not sure what to do anymore, and I honestly think I have finally reached my breaking point. I thought I was stronger than that, but I guess losing her just made me so weak and everything else now is making me just, break

I'm thinking about starting to write again
So I've been watching The L Word lately and watching Jenny write has been making me want to write again. I haven't written in so long because I've been working so much. Not like my writing was any good to start with but that's beside the point. But a lot of ideas have been running through my head.

Does anyone else think I should start writing again? I know I know I keep disappearing and then popping back up at random times.


Follow me!
bloody rose

Hey people! So I made me a tumblr for my photography so you guys should follow me!


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I'm back motherfuckers!
bloody rose
So yeah yeah yeah I know I'm always taking these huge long leaves of absences but I can't help that haha. Lots of new shit has happened but I'm not going to bore you with all that because alot of it is rather sad and depressing. However! I will bore you with the good shit that happened! 

Guess who got a job! Me! Yes me. Poison finally got a job and has stopped stressing. Haha I am now your friendly Eaffle House waitress. Took long enough. I was in training for what felt like for-fucking-ever! I made a 97 on the final exam. Woot woot! 

And so yeah you guys remember that whole Poisons gonna go to college and be a big amazing photographer? Yeah no. That didn't happen. I got ZERO money. So I couldn't afford it. Not to mention I really didn't wanna go right now. I'd rather wait and go when I actually want to. So for now I will work. 

Since I'm gayer than a fucking rainbow and can't adopt yet, my girlfriend and I got kittens! Two! They're only two months old so they're tiny as hell. But they are our children for now. Hehe mine is an all black cat named Thackery Binx for all you Hocus Pocus lovers out there. And her's is an orange tabby she decided to name Turtle. Yes, we know it's a cat. I will try and post a picture of them when I can get one haha. 


Poof! Im back!
bloody rose
Hey guys! So, I know I totally dissappeared on you guys again but my grades starting slipping as soon as I got accepted into college and I almost didnt graduate. And I still failed French. Plus I almost lost my seal for doing something I was told to do so, that was all pretty fucked up. But I did graduate and I got my Fine Arts seal so everything is good now. The only thing is now I have to find a job, which isnt going so smoothly because, legit, no one is hiring. Which means my girlfriend and I are pretty much both screwed, because we both need one. I also havent gotten my liscence yet. I went to get it today and I failed the law part or the written exam by one fucking question. Needless to say, I was pissed. But my mom is taking me back down there tomorrow so I can try again.

I dont know if I mentioned before that my parents are moving out and leaving me and some of my friends the house to rent. Well, "some" of my friends turned into one. Why did it turn into only one? Because everyone else was either going out of state for school, staying at home, or they didnt like the other person moving in. Why didnt I just tell her she couldnt move in? Because she was the first person to say she was moving in so I didnt want to just drop her. So, its just us for now till we can find someone else or till one of us moves out. And as soon as I can Im moving in with my girlfriend.

I know, this is twice now Ive mentioned a girlfriend so Im sure you guys are like, "What?!". Yes, I met this girl through a mutal friend of ours and her and I hit it off. We have one of those connections most people only see in the movies but we have it. We've been together almost two months now, but it so doesnt feel like two months. All my friends keep saying they can see her and I getting married so I hope thats a good thing.

What has been up with all of you guys though? Everything good? Id love to know! :3


I just like disappeared again.
rainbow eye
Hey guys, I know I keep falling off the face of the earth and then I just randomly show back up and Im really sorry. I feel like Im so out of the loop on how everyone is doing now. And I know Im definitely behind on challenges for femslash_land which means when I get home tomorrow I will be spending all day catching up. Should be fun, right? I'll probably go read up on them now so I can start thinking of some ideas. 

In one of my other entries I posted that I had met a girl, well, I'm not sure how well that's going now. She got her iPod taken because she got two 90's on her report card so I cant text her. So, she said she would get on the website I met her on as much as she could so we could talk. She hasn't posted a status or messaged me back at all, but her page says she has been on. So, I don't know if she's ignoring me or if she just hasn't had time to do anything. I don't know. And this is what I always do, I find a girl I like a lot and something happens and I cant talk to them then I get scared thinking they'll forget about me or something like that. I get attached way too quickly and I don't know how to stop that from happening. 

A lot of people in my family have had a lot of problems with being addicted to alcohol so I don't know if because of that I can get addicted to people. I have no clue, but I really do not like being like that. Because since I do that I go too fast and most people don't like that and it messes lots of things up. I really hope and pray that I didn't mess anything up with this. We had great conversations and I miss those. Hell, I just miss her. I really don't know what to do. I'm hoping that since it's the weekend and she doesn't have school or soccer we will be able to talk more, but who knows. I really hate being in this state of mind. 

On a good note, I'm finally on spring break and have done really well with my driving. I should be getting my licence soon. The only thing I can't do very well is get on the interstate but I'm working on that. 

How has everyone else been?

Hope you all have a rainbowtastic weekend! 


I just totally spaced!
bloody rose

Hey guys!!! Sorry I havent been on lately, Ive been hanging out with a friend alot. I really missed you guys though. I think the last time I posted was last tuesday? Holy shit! Thats a long time! So, as you read in my last post I met a girl who is amazing. I'll tell you more later when I know exactly where this is going.

I also have to take the Graduation Test this wednesday and Im hella nervous. But hopefully it goes good. I really hope so since I got accepted into a school or my dreams, but who knows. Murphy doesnt seem to like me very much. We didnt do the Cherry Blossom parade today and Im really upset about it. This is my senior year and I will never be able to march in the parade again. I was going to go to it today with a few friends but I knew if I went I could cry knowing Id never be in it again. I know, Im such a band geek its not even funny, but Ive been marching in that parade for three years so its kind of a big deal to me. I feel like my band director is ruining my senior year. First we didnt go to marching competetion and now we didnt march in the biggest parade my town has? What will we not do next? We almost didnt march in my towns Christmas parade but someone told him we should so Im surpised no one told him we should march in this one. My band director said we werent doing it because he wanted to give us a break but he never wants to give us a break. He always wants to push us till we collapse. At band camp we didnt have very many water breaks and there were kids falling out everywhere! I dont think Ive ever seen that many kids get sick in one band camp than the one this year.

I spent the night with two friends last night and she lives near a college. There was frat party going on so when we got back from star gazing we went to people watch. Drunk college frats are quite funny. We drove by the frat house today and their are maybe three busted out windows. We went star gazing friday night too and I saw a cloud that looked like Lady and the Tramp at dinner with the plate of spaghetti. It was so cute! I saw one that looked like a dinasour too hehe. Star gazing is really fun, if you've never done it grab a blanket a few friends and go to the nearest park and lay there and star at the stars.

Hmmm, what else went on. Nothing really. Oh! My Industrial has something that looks like a blisted under the top part of it and Im scared its infected so one of my friends is taking me back to Beyond Taboo tomorrow to get them to look at it. I know they are doctors but they do pericings all the time Im sure they know how to tell if its infected or not. My ears not puffy and red so I dont think its infected but I just want to make sure. If its not infected I may ask them how much it would cost for them to change it out. Because it being completely silver is annoying. I have to have some color.

I finally got a new phone. The speaker in the front of my phone doesnt work and I have to talk on speaker phone and I really dont like that. Plus, Ive had it for two years and they said its about time for an upgrade because phones are only ment to last about two years. Hopefully I get it switched tomorrow.

So, how have you guys been doing? Have a rainbowtastic week everyone!!! :D


This is a short post but...
bloody rose
I GOT ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you guys remember I had applied to an all girl college which was the college of my dreams well as you see above, I got accepted!!! Im so happy!!!

Hope everyones well!

Also, Ive met a girl o////o


We made.....
bloody rose

So before I tell you what we made at Festival today I will explain how it works and the ratings for those that dont know. The first thing you do is go warm up after you do that you will go on stage and play the peices you have prepared. We had three peices. After that you go to sightreading which is where they put a peice of music infront of you that you've never seen before. You have six minutes to look over it and youre director can teach it to you however he would like, you cant not play though. If a sound comes out of your instrument they dock you an entire rating level and you must start no matter how far into the six minutes you were. The sightreading peices usually arent hard. They try and keep it pretty simple. You dont have to play it perfectly you just have to do your best on it.

For the ratings there is:
1 meaning superior
2 meaning excellent
3 meaning fair
4 meaning poor
and there's a 5 which is kind of like "why the hell did you even show up?"

Everyone aims to get all 1's because its the best you can get. The judges are usually other band directors from colleges and such. They judge you on tone, appearance, tuning, right notes, ect. Sometimes the judges can be really picky. And you never want to perform first thing is the morning because the judges are all grouchy, before lunch because they're ready to eat, and last because the judges are tired and ready to go. Sometimes performing then can be good, but usually its not.

I was really nervous we would get a bad rating in sightreading because my flute sounded horrid! I thought I was out of tune so I went to fix it and it still sounded bad. Did I stop playing though? No. I just played quitely haha. The sightreading wasnt very hard thank God. I usually suck at sightreading. Most people do, which is why the grade you on how close to right you got it. Even though my flute sounded horrible and we were a bit off in my opinion on some of the peices we still made...

ALL 1'S!!!!!

Yes, we got the best you could get! We were so happy. It took us awhile to get it though because our band director was being really slow giving us the scores for intesity I guess. So when he said the last one we had a delayed reaction but Im sure you heard us screaming in China. Overall, today was good though.

I beging my driving lessons tomorrow. Hopefully I dont kill anyone. Yes, Im eightteen and just now deciding to learn how to drive. When all your friends drive and want to carpool all the time, there really is no point in learning to drive.

Hope everyones saturday was rainbowtastic!



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